Friday, June 24

JonnyB to the Diary Room

*enters Diary Room with sheepish expression*

Hello Jonny. You wanted to talk to me?

Hullo Little Blogger. Aw... no, not really.

I really think you want to talk. That’s what I’m here for. Let it out.

Oh. It’s just...

It’s just what, Jonny?

It’s just I’m a bit worried about how I’m coming across. I think the readers might think I’m a bit... standoffish.

Why do you think that, Jonny?

They’ve been whispering. And I know I haven’t had time to talk to them much. And I know I was one of the ones that said ‘less is more’. And I went for that in spectacular fashion.

I’m sure they understand, Jonny. You are a very busy and important man, I know.

Thank you, Little Blogger. Truth is, I’ve been struggling a bit and relying on everybody else to do more than the bare minimum. I feel a failure.

You’re not a failure, Jonny. In fact you’re one of the funniest and best writers around, and one of my personal favourites and in fact you would have won that Bloggie, but it was a fiasco that you didn’t, and that was all down to half the judges not even having time to read the blogs that were on the longlist, of which yours was the best by far.

Thank you, Little Blogger. I really appreciate that.

Was there anything else?

Well – I guess I think Mr Hair was hard done by, and I feel sorry for him because he’s quite a new Blogger and seems to be a nice chap. But I’ve got a theory about that, you know.

Really?

Yes, I’m suspecting Mike is bitterly fed up of being Mr Nice Guy Mike, and evicted Mr Hair because he thought it would help the show if he created a pantomime villain for us all to booooo. It came from his residual and gnawing guilt that he was himself immune from eviction and also has lots of readers who love him. But that’s probably a rubbish theory.

Have you discussed this with Mike?

No. It would be against the rules. That’s also why I didn’t email him betting him a fiver that Peter would walk before day five.

Are you back with us now then, Jonny?

I’m still quite busy. And I’m going on holiday in a couple of weeks. But I’ll try to write some quality, interesting things.

Promise?

Promise.

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